I’m having one of those days. The ones where you want someone to just give you a big hug. My elbow is sore from my little accident yesterday (and I keep forgetting and bashing it on the table!), and my leg looks a mess. And I’ve got so much to do, but don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere with it…
During the ‘happy’ days of my marriage, my husband would have given me that hug. But as I’m now single, I have that overwhelming “I want my Mum” feeling.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a Mum and my sibling lives abroad. Even as a child I was on my own at home, as the sibling went to boarding school when I was 3.
My ex-husband was an only child, and barely saw his parents. So from the outset of our relationship, we were all of those people to each other. It made us tight knit and very dependent on each other. We shared and were interested in the minutiae of each other’s lives. Possibly more so than people who have a Mum or sibling to share “stuff” with.
Over the years, I have been fascinated by the close relationships that many of my girlfriends have with their mothers. During the early years of my being a mother, I admit to feeling a bit empty when I saw others, with their kids and ‘Granny’, doing Christmas shopping or some other such thing, chatting away about their day to day life.
And I have often had to bite my tongue when, after a weekend away with their husbands, (whilst Granny looked after the kids) they would moan about their mother ‘loading the dishwasher the wrong way’ or giving the kids treats they weren’t supposed to have.
In my head I’d be shouting “think yourself lucky you’ve got a bloody mother”.
I fully appreciate that no one can drive you round the bend like your parents and not all parent/child relationships are as fabulous as I have suggested. But speaking for myself, as a parent, I know that there is an unconditional love that I have for my children. And it is that love and commitment that I would like to be on the receiving end of.
So for those of you who have mothers, next time you see them, give them a hug. And if you have friends who don’t have a mother… Just remember, if they’re feeling down in the dumps, they might just need one too.
My dear friend AJ, who moved abroad several years ago, who has known me all my life, would most definitely be giving me a hug today and it would have meant the world. In fact, we’d probably both start blubbing! We can’t help it. If one of us starts, the other always joins in! And we always feel so much better afterwards. I know she sends it in spirit.
And now I feel really bad that I sent my eldest off to school this morning, the words “Get OUT of the CAR – STOP BEING MEAN TO YOUR BROTHER” ringing in his ears.
I will of course, out of guilt, be buying him his favourite biscuits to eat on the way home in the car. He’ll get a big kiss and a huge squeezy hug. And I’ll remind him that even when I’m cross with him, I love him more than the world. That's what Mums do, right?
And I hope when he’s an adult, and he’s having ‘one of those days’, that I will still be around to give him another…