I have been pondering what to write about today. I fear that I have been a bit serious in my last couple of posts.
And so, I’ve decided to lighten the mood and regale you with a couple of amusing moments on the school run. These are real moments, not apocryphal stories.
One morning, driving in the car, my eldest asked me: ”Mummy, who is Barbara Bush?”
Good question I thought. What a clever child I have. So I explained that she is the wife of George Bush Senior, a former President of the United States of America.
As I answered, I wondered whether they had been doing something at school that related to her. I asked why he wanted to know.
“There was a sign back there.” he said. “It said Barbara Bush, live, three nights a week”.
“Ah” I replied, “I don’t think that’s the same Barbara Bush.”
Any suggestions as to how you explain to a nine year old child, that the ex-President’s 86 yr old wife is not likely to be doing a drag act three nights a week at a famous gay nightclub….?
And this is my other school run story…
The driver of an immaculate Aston Martin [are they ever anything but?] was driving in the most bizarre manner, with no indication as to what he was trying to achieve.
“The driver of that car really is thick.” I said to the boys.
(Anyone who’s ever been in a car with me, will be impressed that I restrained myself from calling him a ‘Total Fuck Wit’!).
“What does thick mean.” the little one asked.
“It means really stupid.” I said.
“If he’s really stupid, how did he get the money to buy that car?” asked the eldest.
Ooooops! I’ve just been had. My two nosey sons have just caught me writing this.
They spotted the words “Fuck Wit” on my computer screen. Arghhhhh!
“That’s SO inappropriate” said the eldest. “It’s not funny you know.” he continued as I started to snort with laughter.
“Mind your own business!” I shrieked. “Its grown up stuff!”
“You’re soooo rude” shouts the eldest. “You tell US not to say ‘mind your own business’”. Fair point.
Oh dear. They have now spelt out the words ‘Fuck’ and ‘Wit’ in fridge magnets on the front of the fridge.
I am a bad, bad, bad mother.