This week, I have been invited to a big party. I usually avoid any large gathering where I’m not going to know people, because I get desperately shy. And I usually end up helping clear dishes, just to avoid making conversation with total strangers! How sad is that?!
Fortunately, the only other people I know who are going, have kindly invited me to go with them. So I won’t have to arrive on my own, and at least I’ll have someone to talk to!
My trusty friend Julian has chosen an outfit for me… Thank God for him - because I’m useless. And my fabulous hairdresser has assured me that I need not worry about all my grey hairs – I can just pass myself off as an ‘ash blonde’!
I’m making this sound like it’s a big deal. I mean, it’s a party, right? Just a party. The problem is, I haven’t been a single girl going to a party for the best part of 20 years.
So what am I afraid of?
Mostly, I’m afraid of women! Well, the ones who check out what you’re wearing, in a very obvious way, and make you feel about two inches tall.
My other fear is being dragged off and introduced to a single man who looks like he’d rather have been introduced to a leper!
Fortunately, I am not being ‘set up’ with anyone. It is my greatest horror.
The last time I was ‘set up’ was before I even met my former husband.
The sales pitch from my friend was: “He’s soooo wonderful – you’ll love him. He’s very good looking!” So I got invited round for dinner with this man, who spent the evening telling me: “I know it’s not PC – but of all the things I’d like to do in life, I would really just love to shoot a tiger!”
By the end of the evening, I just wanted to shoot myself!
So, I’m sorted. Something to wear, someone to arrive with, kids with their Dad.
There are, of course, some upsides to going on your own: I won’t have to worry about a husband drinking too much and making embarrassing remarks; I can stay as long as I want; and who knows, I might even meeting someone interesting, who has no desire, ever, to shoot a tiger!