Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Going to the party….. alone!

This week, I have been invited to a big party.  I usually avoid any large gathering where I’m not going to know people, because I get desperately shy.  And I usually end up helping clear dishes, just to avoid making conversation with total strangers!  How sad is that?!

Fortunately, the only other people I know who are going, have kindly invited me to go with them.  So I won’t have to arrive on my own, and at least I’ll have someone to talk to!

My trusty friend Julian has chosen an outfit for me… Thank God for him - because I’m useless.  And my fabulous hairdresser has assured me that I need not worry about all my grey hairs – I can just pass myself off as an ‘ash blonde’!

I’m making this sound like it’s a big deal.  I mean, it’s a party, right?  Just a party.  The problem is, I haven’t been a single girl going to a party for the best part of 20 years.

So what am I afraid of? 

Mostly, I’m afraid of women!  Well, the ones who check out what you’re wearing, in a very obvious way, and make you feel about two inches tall.

My other fear is being dragged off and introduced to a single man who looks like he’d rather have been introduced to a leper!

Fortunately, I am not being ‘set up’ with anyone.  It is my greatest horror. 

The last time I was ‘set up’ was before I even met my former husband.

The sales pitch from my friend was: “He’s soooo wonderful – you’ll love him.  He’s very good looking!”  So I got invited round for dinner with this man, who spent the evening telling me:  “I know it’s not PC – but of all the things I’d like to do in life, I would really just love to shoot a tiger!”

By the end of the evening, I just wanted to shoot myself!

So, I’m sorted.  Something to wear, someone to arrive with, kids with their Dad. 

There are, of course, some upsides to going on your own:  I won’t have to worry about a husband drinking too much and making embarrassing remarks; I can stay as long as I want; and who knows, I might even meeting someone interesting, who has no desire, ever, to shoot a tiger!

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