Friday, 24 June 2011

Vibrators, sex toys and blow up dolls…

That seems to have got your attention.  I bet I’ll get lots of page views today…!!!

I have to say, none of the above are really my ‘thing’.  I’m much more into….

Oh!  C’mon.  I’m not divulging that kind of information!  And I suspect very few people do.  But I’d bet you a whole £5 that most people are secretly very curious about what everyone else is up to!

And that’s what this post is all about…!

When I started this blog, I wasn’t sure how people would respond to smut.  I was surprised at a response from a friend of mine who I had thought might be a little taken aback by a few of my earlier posts.  When I asked her about it, she replied:

“Oooh!  Don’t put less smut in the blog – if anything you need MORE smut.  It’s what we all want to read about.  No one wants to admit how much sex they’re getting or not getting.  But they want to know what everyone else is up to – especially single people.”

Statistics on sex always make a fascinating read.  In view of the kind of remarks friends make about their sex lives (whilst trying not to divulge too much) I can only conclude that after a long marriage and kids, there are probably few who are accurately filling in those questionnaires!

Here are a few examples:

According to my research on the Internet…  (must remember to clear my internet history!)

The Durex Survey 2010 - a survey of 12,000 people surveyed via the Internet states:

- Average Brit is having sex 3-4 times per week;
- 65% of the country does not have any intention to cheat on their loved ones, however, 5% are thinking about a co-worker and 14 are thinking about their ex, while having sex;
- one third of England's population will have sex with anybody for a sum of £1,000,000 (that's approximately US$1,597,500).


Dr Petra Boynton (Sex Educator, Agony Aunt, Academic) comments on these findings in her blog.  She says:
“The trouble is these findings don’t fit with the approaches or outcomes of reliable academic studies. The figure of sexual activity happening four or five times a week is massively higher than reliable studies show (around 6 times a month).

“While this may be an indicator of bias in the survey (and respondents trying to give impressive answers), it is problematic as it continues to equate ‘good’ sex with quantity and imply that ‘normal’ sexual behaviour is several times per week. This is a staple part of contemporary self help and media coverage on sex and makes people who’re not doing this feel inadequate.”

Haha! There we have it!  It makes people feel inadequate!

No wonder so many people out there are interested in what others are up to.  They just want to be reassured that they are 'normal'.  And with the media suggesting that everyone's at it like rabbits, it makes them insecure.  Hence my friends' curiosity about what everyone else is up to.

So going back to the question of sex and intimacy.  What exactly is the score?  Once a week, once a month – or just Birthdays and Christmas? 

I can’t answer that…

But frankly, I think you just have to ask yourselves whether you’re happy with your lot.  Because if you start asking around or worrying what everyone else is up to, it will just make you feel insecure.  And that insecurity probably just stems from others trying to give you impressive answers.

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