This weekend has been a weird one for
me. The kids were due to be with
their Dad, so it shouldn’t have felt so odd…. But it did.
My eldest went away on a four-day school
trip. It’s the first time that he
has gone abroad without either parent.
He wasn’t allowed any electrical devices – which meant he couldn’t take
a phone. So he can’t contact me if
he feels homesick. And I have no
way of calling him, you know, just to check everything’s OK.
The honest truth is, I know he will be
having an absolute blast. The
school is so slick at organizing these trips, and my son himself is a very
sensible child, so I have no concern for his safety.
What’s more, two of his best friends, who
are also sensible kids, are on the same trip. I can only imagine that they will be going to bed and
talking all night. Then up early
to do their activities. By the
time they return they will be exhausted and frazzled. And knowing my child, as I do, I am expecting him to return
tired and grumpy!
But when I dropped him off at the school
bus on Friday morning, with his rucksack on his back, it really hit home that
my little boy is not really a little boy any more. He is a teenager in the making, with an attitude to go with
it!
My job may not yet be done, but I can feel
the early signs of being ‘phased out’!
Friends of mine have commented that it’s
wonderful for a boy of his age to go on such an exciting trip. And they’ve all said how good it is for
his independence and maturity.
I agree wholeheartedly. But there is another issue…
As a mother, we have to learn to let
go. We have to learn that we will,
eventually, be phased out. And of
course, this is natural progress.
I am aware that now my children are slightly older, I have become less tolerant
of screaming toddlers. And I’m
sure, in time, I will be ready for my kids to become young adults.
The thing is, before I get to that stage,
I’d really like to just ‘freeze frame’ them for a couple of years. Because these really are the magical years. Old enough to be a little bit
independent, but no so old that they won’t let their mother kiss them
goodnight, or climb into bed on a Saturday morning.
And so, when my pre-teeny son arrives home
tomorrow, tired and grumpy, I will give him a big hug, listen to all his
stories and savour the moment.
The ability to pause time, if only for moments would be lovely. It really does go quickly. A friend once told me, when our children were very young, "The days drag slowly, but the years race heartbreakingly quickly."
ReplyDeleteCan totally relate, my youngest who has always been so affectionate has just turned 13 and I can feel him pulling away slightly. You have to treasure all the special moments.
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