Over the last few days, I have been driving myself crazy.
I had a random conversation with a friend this weekend. I have no recollection of what started the conversation, but this friend of mine started talking about a condition her husband has.
And as she spoke, describing the symptoms of his behaviour, it was as if she was describing me – in finite detail. I nearly fell off my chair.
I have been aware for a very long time that sometimes the way my mind works is a bit ‘different’. Not always in a bad way, (there are elements that are very positive) but during my childhood, my parents and close friends were, on many occasions, very frustrated by my behaviour and this has continued through to the current day.
I really hate being cryptic, but until I know for sure that this is an issue for me too, I really don’t want to divulge any further details.
Over the last few years, this behavioural pattern has become more of an issue for me than ever before and so, I have decided to make an appointment with my GP to discuss it further. Until I know for sure, I want to keep it under wraps. I have however discussed it with one friend, who quite rightly questioned whether it will help me to know and have a diagnosis.
I have done the internet research. I am aware of the dangers of self-diagnosis, but as I seem to tick the box for almost every single symptom of this condition, I feel I have no choice but to investigate further.
And what will I do with the information if my suspicions are confirmed? Well, apart from the massive relief I think I will gain from knowing for sure that there is an explanation for my behaviour and the way I feel, I am hoping that there will also be a way of addressing and dealing with the issues.
Oh dear. I honestly hate being cryptic. If my suspicions are confirmed, I will most definitely let you know…
Until then… I will not be turning into a mad axe murderer or doing anything that endangers anyone!!
Yours cryptically, Lara Lakin.