I have written before
about how much your social life changes when you get divorced and how you don’t
get invited to dinner parties any more.
Well, last night I had a dinner party. In a way it wasn’t really my party. I was holding it for my friend Sarah’s
birthday. But I realised that
whilst I have had various friends over for supper, I’ve never had more than two
guests at once.
I worried that I wouldn’t
even remember how to cook for a group of people! And to do it by myself, to have to juggle pouring drinks, cooking
and answering the door with no one to help, suddenly made me feel vulnerable
and hopeless. Bizarrely, despite
having had so many parties over the years, the two year interval since I last
held any kind of party, has left me feeling a bit lost.
It was therefore a
huge relief to me that our mutual friend David, who is a great cook, had
offered to help me. And so it was
all planned.
Having done most of my
cooking and set the table, as agreed, I left a list of ‘last minute things’ on
the table for David, threw my house keys through his door, and rushed off on
the school run.
The traffic was very
heavy, so the ‘ex’ was later than expected to collect the kids. I raced back home, collecting Sarah en
route and had the surreal experience of having to knock on my own front door to
get in!
David, as ever, had
been a star. Drinks were at the
ready, all final preparations had been seamlessly done, music on and nothing
more for me to do until everyone else arrived.
I don’t think I’ve
ever been more relaxed when people have arrived at my house. It was marvellous!
Everyone seemed to
have a good time. And David wouldn’t
leave until everything had been cleared up. I really appreciated his help. But it left me feeling sad that I have experienced more
consideration and kindness from David (who by the way is happily married, his
wife just couldn’t make it!) than I did in almost 20 years with my ex-husband.
But the best bit of
all is that it’s left me feeling I’m really growing in confidence. All the fears I had when I first left
my ex-husband, about my ability to cope by myself, are slowly melting
away. It’s not a fear of being incapable
of doing things. It’s a fear of
doing them alone. And there’s the
irony. I realise that despite
being married, I had pretty much been alone for years.
And now I’m getting
back on track, and it feels great.
Ah how well we know that feeling - despite being married, we are alone! Hats off to you for your successful evening, and hats off to your friend for his calm assistance!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you had a a wonderful evening, and extra glad it has been such a boost to your confidence. xxxx :)
Great post! I was divorced about two years ago and I felt like I would lose all my friends and all the great times at events like dinner parties! To give myself a reason to throw a dinner party, I went out and got all new Serving Bowls and utensils to go along with my newly decorated house! Makes me want to have dinner parties all the time! Hope everything goes well for you and thanks for the great post!
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