Forty and divorced. After 20 years of monogamy, what does life hold in store for a mother of two who is re-starting on the dating scene?
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Tall Dark Handsome Guy – closure at last
I have mentioned Tall Dark Handsome Guy before. What I haven’t said is that after what I thought was a one and only date, he got in touch again and we saw each other a few times.
And then, again, he just went silent on me.
Finally, after weeks of angst, I bumped into Tall Dark Handsome Guy. I’d be lying if I said it was entirely coincidental that I bumped into him!
I was fully aware that the relationship, which hadn’t even quite got going, had already ended. I was gutted, because it’s the first time in a long while that I had met someone I genuinely thought was a ‘possibility’ and I just didn’t want to let him off the hook.
Why should anyone put themselves through serious angst, when it can be eased by taking the opportunity to tell the person who has hurt us how we feel.
So I put myself in the right place, at the right time, to bump into him.
The conversation didn’t exactly go as planned, he seemed very uncomfortable and he left without having heard what I wanted to say.
I seized the bull by the horns and sent him an email.
“You hurt me. After everything I’ve been through during the last two years, I didn’t need it.”
His reply was short.
“Sorry. But I think we’re both in the same boat. We need to just enjoy life and not get too involved with relationships at the moment.”
Not the best response he could have given. After all, it’s not his place to presume to know my feelings. But he did at least apologise.
I wish it had been different – but I’m glad that I have forced him to face the effect his behaviour has had on anther person. If nothing else, it may make him behave better the next time.
I don’t think he’s a bad person. I just think he behaved badly. And if truth be told, I don’t think there’s any one of us who can honestly say we haven’t, at some point, hurt another through our careless behaviour.
As a final farewell, I told him that I realise we are both deeply wounded by the breakdown of our respective marriages, and I genuinely wish him happiness.
I feel much better for having told him how I feel.
And as for wishing him happiness... in all honesty, I really do!