It was Wednesday
night, the kids were with their Dad and as I had a busy day the following day,
gay friend Julian and I decided to go out for a couple of drinks. Nothing wild. Just a glass of wine or
two…
…. Or three or four…
And yes, I’m sure
you’ve already guessed… It turned into a late one!
Why does this always
happen when Julian and I get together?
What is the dynamic between us?
We come from different
generations and totally different backgrounds. And we are very different in character. But our shared sense of humour and values
are very alike. We can be
alternately puerile and thoughtful.
And amazingly, he takes no offence and can tolerate my slightly quirky
behaviour.
I’m sure I have many
bad habits, but there is one in particular that I do without even realising I’m
doing it. I change subjects. In the middle of a conversation about
one thing, I’ll start talking about something completely different. Then I look blankly at people, because
I cannot fathom why they don’t seem to know what I’m talking about, when it seems
perfectly obvious to me…!
But going back to the
point about coming from different backgrounds, it never fails to amaze me how
social attitudes are the glue of friendship. Identifying that someone thinks the same way as you, negates
the need for a friendship to stem from a similar life style. In fact, I think it may even make a
relationship stronger, because they don’t have to ‘fit in’. They’re different. That’s the point.
Apparently, when I
change subject and Julian no longer has a clue what I’m talking about, I give
him a very certain ‘look’. Like I
think he’s a moron for not keeping up.
And that’s mortifyingly embarrassing! Because I really don’t mean to do it and that’s certainly
not what I’m thinking.
“If I didn’t know you,
I’d be really offended.” He told me yesterday. “But I know it’s just what you’re like and that you don’t
mean to be rude.”
Ooooops!
[I hope you’ve noticed
that I am jumping about in this post… in an endeavour to give you an idea of
what I’m like in person!]
Well, going back to
our night out… The plan had been
to go for a drink. The bar we went
to was just a few feet away from a gay club that Julian likes. So off we went.
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But how wonderful and
refreshing to have a friend who ‘gets’ me. Who makes his own coffee, because I’ve offered three times
but not quite done it! Who takes
no offence at my quirkiness, because he can see through it. And who feels comfortable to let me in
to another side of his life, which I have never before experienced.
Julian. You Rock!
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