Yes, it was the first
of October yesterday, and the sudden heat wave had everyone at it…
Barbecuing, that is…
And right on cue, I
had a late call from my friend Sarah inviting me to go to her friends’ house. I knew that I wouldn’t know anyone
there, apart from Sarah, and I’m not one for gate crashing other people’s
parties, but heck, it was a hot evening and I had no other plans.
Sarah picked me up in
the car on the way past and as we raced round the corner to her friend Mark’s
house, I anxiously clung on to her beautifully made cheesecake, convinced I was
going to end up wearing it or dropping it.
The cheesecake arrived
in once piece and we were greeted at the door by Mark himself, a charismatic,
warm and friendly man, wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the words:
DR LOVE
I’m not a gynaecologist, but I’ll
have a look.
With my puerile sense
of humour, I couldn’t help but laugh.
A couple of drinks
later, and Mark’s amazing paella was ready. And for a moment, I had a weird feeling of
displacement. In the 20 years I
was with my ex-husband, he never cooked for me. Not even once.
And unfortunately, doing absolutely everything on a domestic level has
become my comfort zone. It made me
very conscious that going forwards, I need to allow people to do things for me,
even though I find it hard.
And then, I don’t know
what came over me. I had a funny
‘turn’ and came over all bold, brassy and frankly, quite smutty. For reasons I can’t quite explain, I
felt the need to ask the host, who was talking about cycling, if he wears
‘budgie smugglers’. And from
there the conversation progressed to mankinis. What ever was I thinking?
But was that enough
for Lara Lakin… Oh, no!
That’s when I had a
dreadful attack of foot in mouth disease.
Having agreed with another guest, a lovely man who is a real Doctor, that Darwin had got it
right, I opened my big mouth and put
both feet in… right in… up to the
ankle.
“I’m not at all
convinced that mankind is responsible for global warming!” I exclaimed.
I heard the sound of
stifled laughter and heads banging on the table behind me, as my host kindly
explained that The Doctor had just spent 10 years researching the effects of
global warming. In fact, he’s just
had a book published, based on his findings!
“Ah, you’re a denier
are you?” he replied calmly.
“Errrr, yes! Oh, and I used to work for a GM Crops
company!” I replied. I thought I may as well finish myself
off with that last point! But
maybe what I should have just said was “No, I’m just a dumb blonde with a big
mouth!”
Luckily I was spared
further embarrassment by the arrival of Sarah’s amazing cheesecake.
Alas, disaster struck,
and my premonition that I would end up wearing the cheesecake came to
fruition. It slipped off the
plate, onto my hair, down my back and splattered all over the floor.
“Don’t worry” Mark’s
wife said calmly. “I washed the
floor today, it’ll be fine!” And
so, the cheesecake was scraped up off the floor and eaten anyway!
Finally, after more
raucous conversation, it was time to go home. I’d had a great evening and been made to feel really welcome
by complete strangers. And I had
felt able to ‘be myself’ although maybe, sometimes, I should rein it in a bit!
And I hope my recovery
from the global warming gaff was as successful as that of the cheesecake! Not
looking quite so clever, but going down well anyway!
No comments:
Post a Comment