Alone, in a darkened room, with a fit young man….

I lay there in the dimly lit basement.  Alone with the slim young man.  His warm hands clasped my buttocks… gently at first… and then…

Oh my bloody god!  The P A I N!!!!

Oh, c’mon guys… I'm talking about the Chiropractor.  What were you thinking…?

This isn’t soft porn you know!

Well, it would seem that the fall I had earlier this summer whilst out running, has provoked an ongoing problem I have with my back.  I tried to be brave, but the pain in my backside was really too much to bear.

And so, having made another appointment for later in the week, I struggled off to get the kids from school.  Head thumping.  Neck on fire.  Every part of my back hurting.  I wondered whether I could cope with the kids fighting in the back seat.   Driving was a struggle.

My kind friends all enquired how I was feeling after the appointment.  Assuming that it would make me feel better.  Well hopefully, by tomorrow, it will start to feel better.  But like so many things in life, sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. 

Looking back at the last few years of my life, I know for sure that divorce most definitely symbolises the “getting worse before it gets better” principle.  And there are many other things it applies to.

I think all of us have the capacity to struggle on with situations that are gradually getting worse and worse.  As a problem worsens, we up the anti – and learn to cope better.  And we do this because we cannot bear the thought of the pain and anxiety it will cause us to confront our demons. 

We blank it.  Pretend it’s not happening.  And all the while, things just get worse and worse.

Taking steps to face our demons takes great strength and courage.  It takes us out of our comfort zone.   It goes against the grain and attracts attention from those close to us, in a way that we find uncomfortable.

I knew I was going to have to go down to the deep dark basement and face the pain.  I’m still suffering now.  But I’m dealing with the problem because I know that is the only way it’s going to get better.

Facing demons takes strength and courage.  But it’s worth it.

And I just hope that the slim young Chiropractor appreciated my muscle tone…!