The best laid plans...

This week has not gone according to plan.


Like the best laid plans, it all started out soooo well…!


On Tuesday morning, I took the kids to school, raced home, wrote the day’s blog post, confirmed that Sarah was still free to meet at lunch time to help me with some work and set off with the dogs for my run.


And then…. Half way round the circuit, I crossed over some concrete, tripped, stumbled, tried to recover my balance, and then went flying. As I tried to roll onto the ground to break the fall, rather than have half my body grazed on the rough surface, my head whiplashed onto the ground.


I lay there for some time, completely dazed. I was fully aware that the force with which my head had hit the ground was quite significant.


The first words that went through my head were: “Shit, oh shit, oh my god, shit, I’m in trouble.”


The next ones were: “Shit, oh shit, how am I going to get home?”


I felt confused, dizzy and frightened. As I gingerly dragged myself to my feet, I saw that there was a little house nearby and the owner’s car was parked outside. Thank god. Someone to help me. Unfortunately, after ringing the doorbell twice, no one came out.


I frantically tried to phone a friend – but got no answer. I knew Sarah was in her exercise class, so she wouldn’t hear her phone. And then… one of the myriad dog walkers drove into the adjoining car park.


I cannot describe the relief I felt when this tiny old lady took me under her wing. She helped me into her van, loaded my dogs in, and drove me back to my car. In my confused state, I drove the very short distance home. In retrospect, not a great move. But no harm done!


I arrived home, managed to get hold of Sarah, and clambered into the shower to wash the dirt off my face, leg and bleeding hand.


By the time Sarah had arrived, I had a lump on my head the size of an egg. And we’re talking extra large freerange chicken egg!


Sarah bundled me into her car and drove me to hospital. The receptionist was suitably impressed. “Wow, that’s the biggest bump I’ve ever seen.” She commented.


I was seen by the doctors within 15 minutes. You know you’re in trouble when the A&E department is full, you are the last to arrive and first to be seen!


The doctor was fantastic and did a tonne of tests. Despite being unable to stand up quickly without feeling dizzy and wobbling, I kept apologising for being there! (I really am a ‘Brit’ through and through!). The doctor assured me that I’d had a very nasty bump and did need to get it checked out!


Having assured him I could stand, he led me by the elbow, very slowly, to the X-ray department. Whilst I waited to have my head X-amined (so to speak!), I heard the charming and delightful lilting tones of Lorraine Kelly! I can confirm that despite being incapacitated by a neck brace and being strapped down to a stretcher, she was as cheery and friendly to the staff looking after her as you see on your TV screens!


Little did she know that she was in the presence of epic Blogger Lara Lakin! I decided not to tell her, as I felt she’d probably had enough excitement for one day!


Fortunately, the X-ray showed no sign of any fracture and on the promise that I would not at any point be left on my own, until eight hours after the accident, I was allowed home.


By this stage, my head was thumping. I was tired. I felt like I’d done five rounds with Mike Tyson. And I just wanted to get home.


Sarah came back to collect me and took me home. I realise that I’m not the easiest patient… I tried to do all the things she was trying to do for me, and wouldn’t go to bed like I was told! I think I was just in total denial!


The kids finally got back from school and were deeply upset when they saw me. Really, it’s not a pretty sight! To make them feel better and as it was pancake day, Sarah very kindly made them pancakes for tea. She even brought me some in bed!


Finally, when the kids had settled down, Sarah went home. The kids had been briefed: If anything happens to Mum in the night, call Sarah, call Grandpa and call 999.


Fortunately, it wasn’t necessary. I woke with the blackest eye ever seen, a sore hip, shoulder and hand. But nothing that won’t mend.


Tomorrow will be Friday and already I’m bored of explaining to everyone why I look so horrific! But I am eternally grateful to the lovely dog walker who got me back to the car; to Sarah for getting me to hospital and back, feeding my kids and looking after the world’s worst patient; the staff at the hospital for taking such good care of me; and to Julian and Date Guy, whose phone calls and messages to check up on me and make sure I’m OK, have made me feel cared about.


And on that note, as I have a big black eye and ache all over, I’m off to bed and grateful to have such good friends.