Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Is it cool to be fancied…?

I posted a couple of days ago about ‘Clem’, the octogenarian who invited me out to dinner on Saturday night.

The next day, I had a comment posted on the blog, which said:

“I think it’s pretty cool to be fancied.  Doesn’t matter by whom…”  It got me thinking – and discussing it with a couple of friends of mine.  One of us is female (me), one is male and one is gay.  I think that’s got all the bases covered!

So, is it, or isn’t it, flattering? 

We all agreed that if someone stunningly attractive (who we secretly believe is way out of our league) fancies us, it’s a huge compliment.  And if someone we personally find ‘creepy’ or very unattractive fancies us, it has the adverse effect.  But in real life, most people we encounter fall somewhere in-between. 

In addition, we have all met people who we didn’t find especially attractive on first meeting, who once we got to know them, became attractive to us.  And conversely, people we thought were stunning, who turned out to be unpleasant and became unattractive to us.

Over all, we agreed that it’s better to be ‘fancied’ than ‘not fancied’.  After all, it would be a bit depressing if no one ever gave us a second glance and a smile.  However… the value of a compliment is based on our feelings for the other person.  You don’t have to fancy them back, but you do have to feel that their opinion has value ie that they have taste or good judgement.

I have no doubt that every one of us has been in a situation where we have found someone very attractive, only to discover that they do not feel the same way about us!  It can really knock our ego.  So being fancied by someone we don’t fancy, redresses the balance. 

So going back to the original statement:

“I think it’s pretty cool to be fancied.  Doesn’t matter by whom…”

Yes – of course it’s cool to be fancied.  And it doesn’t have to be by someone you fancy back, but up to a point, it does matter by whom… 

Sorry Spanner!   


  1. Ok we'll agree to disagree. It matters not who finds you attractive (in all it's forms) as you have no control of another's feelings. I'd take the compliment :-)

  2. Hello again too.. also going back to my comment on your previous blog - When I said "attractive" I meant in general as a person - not really necessarily based on looks- Clem found you attractive but you don't know if a) it is the way you look to him or b) how you appeared in your the vain comment was more to imply that you assumed he was after a possible romp, when he may have just been being flirty (because he can at that age..knowing that it would be highly unlikely to end up in a dalliance), also realistically if you turned around and said ok to a hot date with him - he may just possibly have a heart attack!


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