Why is a hot date for us not such a hot date for them…?

 A few weeks ago I was invited out on a hot date…

In fact, as far as I was concerned it was a sizzlingly hot date - tall dark and handsome, with a kindly manner and a good sense of humour.  Oh, and a devoted Dad to boot.  All the qualities a girl could ask for.

I went round for lunch.  We spent the afternoon talking non-stop.  Then the sun went in and we watched a movie and canoodled on the sofa.   He took me out for dinner and then I left, as a good girl should, before midnight! 

“Don’t forget the rules!”  My closest girlfriends cried.  “Don’t call him. Let him call you.”  Well, as his parting words to me where “keep in touch” as opposed to “I’ll call you” – I decided to forget the rules and just ‘wing it’. 

Now as it happens, I’m a practical sort of girl.  I know that one night a week and every other weekend, the kids are with their Dad.  These days are precious to me, and my social activities are worked around them.

“Fancy doing something on Wednesday” I texted him, trying not to sound too desperate.  Alas, he was busy. 

I gave it one last shot.  “Kids with their Dad on Friday/Sat if you’re free?”  No reply.

“Enough” I hear you scream.  “Let  him call YOU.”  But there’s the thing.  I have to get on with it.  Time is ticking by.

Single women with children, like me, have limited time available to conduct their social lives.  Dates with men cannot be so spontaneous as they were when we were younger.  We also have many evenings at home, getting the kids through homework, bath and bedtime, feeling irritable because whilst we’re going through the motions of domestic life, all we are thinking is:  “Why hasn’t he called?”.

A great male friend of mine always says the same thing:

“Why do you women spend so much energy trying to second guess what men think?  Just call him, or send a message.  You’re going to find out eventually, so just get on with it and then at least you know where you stand.”

Fair point.

Men don’t have the same domestic commitments.  They have busy days at work and arrange a ton of activities to keep them occupied when they’re not at work.  Weekends are full of golf and other manly pursuits and evenings occasionally spent taking women out for dinner. 

And that’s just it.  It’s dinner.  They don’t spend time agonizing and wondering. If they like you, they’ll call.  For the most part, they’re just filling time.  The time that women don’t have because of their domestic commitments, during which we torment ourselves.

So there’s the answer.  A hot date for us is the precious time we have, between juggling all other aspects of our life.  To them, it’s just dinner. 

If a man likes you, he’ll call.  He may not call straight away – but he’ll call. 

It looks like Tall Dark Handsome guy isn’t going to call – so I have to take the best out of it that I can and wish him well.