I’ve never been into revenge myself…
But sometimes it can be just a teeny weeny bit cathartic.
I admit to doing one of the following. Only one - and I’m not telling you which one it is! But it did then, and still does, make me smile to think of it…
So, herewith, my top ten favourite “terrible acts of revenge”!
Clean the toilet with their toothbrush – ensuring you get right under the rim.
Cook their food separately, ensuring they get lots of extra chilies.
Take their extra special wine and sell it on eBay.
Use your kids itching powder in their underwear.
Cut off one single arm from every favourite item of clothing.
Make them steak pie. Use a tin of dog food and a bit of puff pastry. Tell them you already ate!
Reset their computer back to factory settings.
Post their mobile number in local phone boxes, offering escort services.
“Accidentally” boil wash their favourite item of clothing – or just stick a red sock in their ‘whites’ wash.
Make them chocolate mousse – with a generous helping of laxative chocolate grated on top!
And remember... Revenge is a dish best served cold. (A bit like chocolate mousse!)